Blue Ticket

My mom told me not to talk to strangers

But now, almost at 18

It's an unspoken truth that I am supposed to start giving myself up

Just a little bit at a time 

To fall in love with the "right" stranger

Of course, I'll get to know him 

But I have trust issues

Especially in myself

Because I've mistaken love for goodnight texts and over-used nicknames
I actually believed in cupids arrows

And the people I thought I knew the most change too quickly

Nothing is the same anymore

But my mom told me to start going on dates again

And I'm still afraid of talking to strangers

A Gift for Jarom

Jarom Anton

A line from every post 

turned into a grand theft poem

When I was a kid I dropped a brick on my foot

I've been told I have a good heart

but Hell is in my mind

and love is blind

so WAKE UP

I'm too young

and love has left it's withered mark

and a scar that is unbearable

but it's okay

why we cry doesn't matter as much as the fact that we do 

we are still who we were when we found each other

 ...

When I was a kid a dropped a brick on my foot

because all I want is for them to see me

Sleepless in 301

Don't trace your first name and his last name

with the dots that show up in the back of your tired eyelids

And definitely don't think of his lip brushing your cheek 

2 am isn't the time to be wondering if you should have said hey or hi or what's up :)

Scratch the emoji that would mean you're too excited to talk to him

And maybe you should have hugged him with both arms over?

Wait no, he always liked his arms over your shoulders

Shit, you should have let him hug you first

Hopefully you didn't have salad in your teeth

you're trying to look slimmer even though Thanksgiving is coming up

Are you thinking about him again?

Stop

It's already 2:47 

and you're still wondering if he turned off his read receipts on iMessage

because he wanted to ignore you without you knowing

Stop it 

Close your eyes and don't try to fix the stutter you had yesterday

2:50 just sleep

2:54 It's easy, just forget about the way he makes you feel

2:55 No, cuddling him right now wouldn't make you sleep better

3:01 I love him 

3:01 I love him 

3:01 I love h

When was the last time you looked at my blog?

You probably have all forgotten about me huh?
That's okay, it happens quite a lot actually
I have a knack for disappearing.
Even though being forgotten is one of the most gut wrenching fears I have
I let it happen
Kinda like kissing the boy that everyone knows gets around but you do it anyway because those lips...
So here's to fresh starts and trying again
I'm probably not on your top 5 anymore
And when you think of your favorite writer on the blogs my name slips your mind
But don't forget about me quite yet
You haven't even seen the half of it

The reason I'm alive

She loved the night

For the stars that reminded her

She was still alive 

One hell of a brick

They painted my vocabulary with curse words and graffiti

I'm a brick

I let them decide what I would be

I'm just a brick

My mom replaced me with stucco walls

Just a brick

I stay home on Friday nights, because I never was a student section kind of person

I didn't get asked to Homecoming

Brick

My boyfriend hits on my 30 year old sister

Brick Brick Brick 

They tear me down and still expect me to lift them up 

But the pain built up inside actually held me together

And I didn't crumble under pressure

I stood my ground

I chose to be one hell of a brick

Sunday Eyes

I never was the holy type

yet somehow I always knew God sent you to me

I found you in my prayers

and now I see heaven in your eyes

those sunday eyes, they stole me away

I would have never taken you for a sinner

but if the worst lie you ever told was that you loved me

I would forgive you

as long as you're mine for another week

I'll wait patiently for saturday to end  

and have faith that when I wake up

you'll still be lying next to me 

because no matter how often you leave

those sunday eyes will always be back for more